Max Payne in High School
by TheMerryVingian
Summary: Okay, the question that I'm sure everyone asks themself from time to time: what if Max Payne had met the other characters in high school? It sounds lame, but I think you'll like it anyway!


Disclaimers: I don't own the Max Payne games or any of the characters. They are the property of Rockstar Games and Remedy software.

This is purely a work of fiction. Any similarities to anybody living, dead, or somewhere in between are purely coincidental.

Without further adieu, I give you…

Max Payne in High School

Before we begin the story, I should give you a quick rundown of who's who in this fic:

Max Payne: the new kid in school

Mona Sax: the bad girl, the social misfit

Vladimir Lem: Mr. Popularity, captain of the football team, etc.

Winterson: the cheerleader/prom queen. Vladimir's girlfriend.

Vinnie: the nerd

The Cleaners: the jocks

Kaufman: a jock, but also the burnout/party animal

Mike the Cowboy: the foreign exchange student

Annie Finn: a well-rounded student – smart, popular, involved in extracurricular activities

Bravura: a teacher

Nicole Horne: another teacher

Woden: the principal

I still remember it like it was yesterday. Wandering around the halls like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that had never been there. I hurriedly looked around trying to find my assigned locker. "352" was the number that the principal had given me just before sending me on to find my first class. Woden was his name, and somehow it seemed fitting. My first class ever at this new high school that I was to attend. I looked at each and every locker, which seemed to be staring back at me as if they were mocking my smallness in the sea of teachers and students roaming the halls.

I finally found it: locker number 352. After a few minutes of fumbling around, I finally got the combination right and was able to pry open the disagreeing locker. I stuffed whatever pencils, pens, and papers I didn't need, then closed the locker tight and hustled to find my first class.

U.S. History. That was to be the first class of my first day at this new high school that fate had dropped me off at. Room 202 was the number. I dodged and weaved through the maze of hustling students trying to avoid being knocked over by them. I made my way up a flight of stairs and finally found the room. I cautiously entered.

Inside I saw a mishmash of different types of students, all sitting, talking, throwing various types of projectiles, waiting for class to start. As soon as I saw my chance, I darted for an empty seat with a speed that would have made a gazelle jealous. As soon as I sat down, one of the various types of students spoke to me. He wasn't the typical high school kid – he was wearing coke-bottle glasses, a red windbreaker, and a T-shirt that had a gigantic picture of Captain Baseball Bat Boy for all the world to see.

"So, ahhh, you new here or what?" the kid asked me.

"Yeah," I answered reservedly. "My name's Max Payne."

"How ya doin'? Vinnie Gognitti."

He reached out his hand, waiting for me to shake it. After a few moments, I decided to humor him and shake it. It was soon interrupted by Vinnie receiving, for no reason that was made apparent to me, a thump on the head. We both looked up to see several bigger male students passing by, snickering at him. They were all dressed in letter jackets with several championship patches on all of them, as if they were uniforms.

"Give it up, Gognitti. No one likes you," one of the boys said. The others laughed.

Vinnie pretended to laugh with them. "Ahhh, very funny, guys. You cleaners are very funny."

"Cleaners?" I asked, because my curiosity was snapping at my heels.

"Yeah, that's our school mascot. Weird, eh?"

I guess it was. I couldn't say that I'd seen anything like it before. But nonetheless, I waited along with the others for class to start. I noticed that the "cleaners" that had thumped Vinnie on the head had congregated around one other student. The student was tall, handsome, and obviously physically gifted, with light-colored hair and piercing blue eyes. He was talking with the cleaners about nothing in particular, and they were hanging on his every word. He could have made them feel like dirt, and they still would worship him. The conversation continued, until this young man that seemed to be king around this place received a thump from behind him. He turned around to find that it came from a small, petite, blond woman, dressed as a cheerleader, complete with the short skirt and school sweater.

"Ahem! Vlad, it's been a whole minute and a half, and I'm _still_ not getting attention," the girl said to him.

Vlad sighed. "Sorry, Winterson." He sent the others to their seats and began to chat exclusively with the girl. It became more and more apparent that the two were attached like superglue.

Soon every seat but one was full, and an older man with glasses and a hat and trench coat came in. I could only assume that he was the teacher, due to the fact that as soon as he came in, he ordered the class to get quiet, and it wasn't long before they decided to obey. It was a rather rapid compliance for a high school classroom. Everybody, myself included, turned our focus to the teacher, who judging from the name written on the blackboard, was named Mr. Bravura.

"Now," Bravura said, "Before we begin, we have a new student."

He was talking about me. I didn't really want to be recognized for being new here, but I decided to let it slide, because unlikely as it may have been, it could turn out to be a good thing for me.

"Everybody," Bravura continued, "say hello to Max Payne."

Everyone either remained quiet or forced themselves to give a hello. The resulting chorus was pathetic sounding, but I remained quiet about it, because I had a feeling that it was as good as I was going to get out of these folks. Bravura had me come to the front of the class so that he could hand me a book, then sent me back to my seat.

"Now, let's turn to page 106, which is where I believe we last left off."

As I turned to the page Bravura gave and opened my notebook to take notes, I heard the door open. In walked a girl with dark hair, full pouty lips, and a body that just wouldn't quit. However, those full pouty lips were curled up with an attitude that would have scared off a rhino.

"Ms. Sax," Bravura said as soon as the girl entered. "Lovely to see you could fit us into your 'busy' schedule."

"It's Mona, Mr. Bravura," she said sarcastically. "And it seems that once again, everyone's early except me."

A few of the guys snickered, while some of the girls looked on with condescension. She was clearly trouble from the beginning. Yet for some reason, I couldn't stop staring at her. I knew I should look away, yet she had some mysterious attractiveness about her that caused a temporary paralysis in my neck and my eyes. I suppose her noticing was inevitable.

"What are _you_ looking at?" Mona said to me.

"Nothing," I said, feigning innocence. But I'm sure it didn't fool her. But even her irritation at me could do nothing to stifle the strange attraction I felt for her.

I WOULD talk to her again soon. I knew it…

Okay, this isn't too much, but I will write more. I promise. Of course, by all means, please RR.


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